Saturday, October 31, 2015

My Brother. My Best Friend.


I can’t lie to you.  It hurts like hell.  My chest aches.  My tears appear out of no where.   

I know this will ease with time.  We learned that when mom died.

But it never makes it less real. 

And it puts a pall on the world as I see it.  Colors are duller, the moon less bright.  The glorious fall with the colors and football aren't interesting me like they used to.

A bright, vibrant life left.  A friend to many.  A marvelous father, son, brother, uncle and grandfather. 
You never met a stranger, did you.  So unlike me, you always brought smiles to everyone's face. 
That is a special gift.

There is no more pain now, T.  No more alarms going off at 2am to get up for a job.  No more struggles.

No more suffering.

I know you are at peace.

I know you are with our mom now.

Allow me time to grieve and cry and scream.  I know, you are laughing at me.  You always did.

I’ll work through this as best I can.  But you know that.

I will be back to fight for my greyhounds again.  I vowed to be a voice for them and I will.

Despite all my failings, you loved this best about me.

Always our dogs and cats.

Sure, I’m going to cry some more.  I’m going to hurt some more.

But above all else, I will always feel the love of my brother.

And Tom, this is the last ever acknowledgement I give to the Bucks. 

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